"The trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close-up. The shortcut to closing a door is to bury yourself in details."

life is so much more interesting through the lens of a camera.

not just any camera lens, but that of penny lane, my new camera...
...which reminds me i forgot to turn in my blockbuster movie (almost famous), oh shit.

whoiam: i'm interested in being interesting. i'm fascinated by controversy, death, depression, insanity, and lobotomy. i drool over disease, melt over maladies. I contemplate philosophies and theologies and meanings. I study manipulation, psychology, and the underworld of pop culture; cult reads, cult movies, cult rituals; sex drugs violence drinking betrayl fire destruction disparity injustice infamity superfluities strange diction magic satan my hair originality.

"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
Invisible Monsters, Chuck Palahniuk

But that means I'm a sham. I'm not actually interesting myself, it's just an interest. My obsession is interest. But even worse, that's what I do. I be interested in, i be fascinated, i drool, i melt, i observe, i watch, i be complascent, i take notes. I'm like one of those people who enjoy listening to rap music to such an extent that I learn the moves and the words and the beats, but I never achieve any sort of rap star status myself. Like a fan. I'll never be Kanye West, I'll just listen and sing and dance to his songs. I'm a fan of being interesting. I'll just observe and watch and take notes on what is interesting. I'll never be interesting.

"The best way to waste your life is by taking notes. The easiest way to avoid living is to just watch."
Lullaby, Chuck Palahniuk

story of my life.