because then I can utilize social facilitation to the fullest. Everyone sees facebook. Everyone. People I love, people I like, people I dislike, people I wish I talked to, people I admire, people I idolize, people I stare at, people I masturbate to, people I crush on, people I talk to once in a blue moon, people that pop into my head, people who are symbols, people who mean nothing, people who mean the world to me.
Thus, I write in an inexplicably and inescapably higher diction and syntax. I'm a different--a better person. I enjoy the attention, the recognition.
But most of all I enjoy the sense of self accomplishment.
I recently read my last facebook note 'hair 1: tick', and it was on the edge of beautiful.
it rested inbetween a golden statue of a hippo and the mona lisa.
right on the verge of meaningful art, recogniziable, appreciatible art.
is what i tell myself.
(just thought of this: Be inbetween the inn between the bees.)
but there seems to be a condition for such a facebook note to occur. Indeed, a condition of unpropotiante conditions. Or not really/that wasn't a word/idkstfu.
I feel I need to, once again, experience an event of insiginificant proportions.
A glance from someone who looks like someone, but isnt.
A pencil that I found on the floor.
A dance that I did for no reason.
I need something small so that I can make it something big. I need something small so I can make it something symbolic. I need a symbol to represent the universal emotions and appeal inside me, all the feelings that this host contains. life and death and truth and beauty. I need an event a person or an objec to be my symbol.
My symbol of--what? I don't know.
But I know I need it...
Or maybe I don't.
Maybe I need a big event.
A fight.
A love.
A death.
Maybe I need something big to make it mean something small. I need something big so I can make it mean nothing. Everything means nothing.
What are you living for?
Why do you exist?
Who are you?
is what I ask myself.
Oh, and to the newcomers out there...
ahem, I mean...
Dear New Readers,
I know you're out there. I know you've read one of these posts.
And I just wanted you to know I know.
You stimulate my curiostity. You stimulate my imagination.
You stimulate my special brand of magic.
(STIMULATION STIMULATION STIMULATION)
Thus, I thank you.
Really
Actually
In fact
I am so thankful, that I dedicate this blog, and all the rest of them, to you.
Whenever I refer to 'you', I mean you, reader.
Whenever I guesture to my audience or ask a question or call you a name, it's not rhetorical:
I'm talking to you.
I'm imagining you. I'm thinking of you. A sillohetted frame, an androgenous blob, a metamorphic spirit, a formless figure.
This is all you, reader. You will recieve very many nicnmames, let me tell you.
(I do this not only because I feel so so so grateful for your attention [if i still in fact recieve it: (god) if you're out there, give me a sign] but also because i feel it'll (communication to my audience, to you) will affect my social facilitation. in a good way, hopefully, but we can't get ahead of ourselves here.)
Now what I tell myself is what I tell you.
SO.Reader,
Audience,
Person,
Lover,
Liar,
my own person God,
Thank you and
please sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.
Sincerely with love and a cherry on top,
Adam Powers
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