emosigh

just skyped with katie. asked julie to join and she said ew no. old petty trivialities still plague me.

i can't speak well
you'll notice it if you're ever around me
it's so sad not being able to communicate to people you love
--even to people you don't, to people you don't know.
but maybe that's just normal.
i'm listless in every way
all i want to do is listen to sad songs and eat and sleep.
i'm going to eat myself alive.
like a self cannibalizing snake, unhinging my jaw to slurp up the end of my tail.
and everything i write fucking sucks so it's unfulfilling
and nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing
...
i have nothing to say:
the aboriginal sin of adam.